90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
