Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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