you guys were way drunker than both of me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
