We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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