I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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