It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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