I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
