Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
