Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
