she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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