Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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