you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize