I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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