she takes plan B like it's going out of style
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
