i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
