I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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