So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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