Where is the hickey?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
