i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
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Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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