haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
