im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize