Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
