You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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