Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
