Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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