Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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