i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
