You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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