I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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