Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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