Your face is a jimmy john
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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