I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize