I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
