stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
