yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
