what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
