why didn't you poke me back
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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