i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
