where am i from again
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
