You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
