getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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