I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
