you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize