their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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