I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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