she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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