Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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