have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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