How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.