Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"