is your mom at the bar?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.