I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize