I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
