ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
