There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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