So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
