Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
